A Howard Girl's Story: Mary FitzRoy
by Katherine Wyatt
Summary: This is the story of Mary Fitzroy's nee Howard life, written partially as a biography. Some parts are fact but most are fiction due to lack of information on Mary. It tells the story as her life as a pawn in the Howard chess game and her marriage.
1. Mary Howard

A Howard Girl's Story: Mary FitzRoy: Duchess of Richmond and Somerset

_"I was born into a family of nobles; a family who always aspired to be more than they were, even if there was nothing but the sovereign themselves above them. I was a Howard girl, as we were often called both behind our backs and to our faces. A Howard girl that everyone was jealous of, that everyone wished to be like. From a young age, I was placed strategically like a chess piece to gain more lands and titles for my family. I was able to see and think about what I was doing, but unable to act against my orders. I was a privileged girl in many ways, but I was also locked away in what seemed like a prison for most of my life, lacking the freedom that even peasant children were allowed in their youth. I was very much alone, being played against my own will in a game I did not even favour." – _Mary (Howard) FitzRoy, Duchess of Richmond and Somerset

Mary Howard was the first daughter and second child of Thomas Howard, 3rd Duke of Norfolk and Elizabeth Stafford, Duchess of Norfolk and Countess of Surrey. She was born in 1519, a time where her father, the Duke of Norfolk, was the second most powerful duke in England, second only to her maternal grandfather, Edward Stafford, 3rd Duke of Buckingham.

Though Thomas, her father, was already quite content with his first child, her older brother, Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, and was never very kind to his wife, whom he seemed to use as a vestibule for children, he seemed to take to Mary's personality immediately, even as a child.

Elizabeth held her daughter in her arms tightly, breathing in her fresh scent of roses, which had been obtained by bathing her in a bath of rose petals. She was a good size and round, like a healthy baby should be, and fit perfectly into her arms.

"Isn't she beautiful, my lord?" Elizabeth asked as she held the girl in her arms, lying in bed.

Thomas had been speaking with the doctors and turned only his head to look at his wife. Deep down, he had been hoping for another son. He now had Henry, a healthy child and sure successor to his title, but he wanted a back up. Days like these, you never know what could happen to your kin, it was good to have a secure line of children waiting. "What did you say?" He asked; he was accustomed to ignoring most of the statements his wife made.

Elizabeth did not even bother to sigh, she was so used to his negligence of her. "I said she was beautiful, my lord."

Though Thomas did not care for his wife's words, he turned to look at his daughter anyway. He took a few steps closer to the bed and put his arms out so Elizabeth could pass him the child.

She did as she was beckoned and moved the baby from her arms to Thomas's, though with great personal difficulty. She had tried and tried to love her husband, to be caring and kind to him, but he never returned the favour and so she had almost given up entirely at trying to love him. All she could do now was bear him the children he wanted.

As Thomas took the small girl into his arms, she opened her little eyes, peering around at her surroundings and then looking to him. At first, Thomas thought that she was about to cry, her mouth opening up, ready to unleash whatever ungodly sound it could let out; but instead, she made a small sound and put her hands up into the air, reaching for his face. He didn't know what to do; Henry had been such a quiet child, and even now, at age three, he was not overly talkative. Thomas turned around and began to leave the room, so that his actions were hidden well from his wife. He held the baby up; closer to his face, and smiled at her as she continued to peer into his eyes with her small, blue ones.

"What shall we name you?" He asked her, as if expecting an answer from a baby who did not even have a month of life to her name. He looked at her, realizing she was not swaddled at the moment, but he did not complain for once. She was looking at him so intently, how could he ever be upset with her or around her? "I think we should call you Mary." He told her, bringing her head to his lips, planting a kiss on her forehead.

Little baby Mary opened her mouth again and to Thomas's ears, it sounded as if she laughed. He smiled at her, laughing too, if that was even what she was doing. She was so young and had so much to learn, but he liked her. Something in him wanted to kiss her and hug her. He wanted to treat her like a normal father would treat their daughter. Henry, he treated like the successor to his title, like the future Duke of Norfolk but Mary he would treat like Mary Howard, his second child and his beloved daughter.


	2. Happy Birthday, Mary!

In 1525, Mary celebrated her sixth birthday, happily with her two siblings, Henry and her younger brother, Tom and her mother and father. Though they were never truly a happy family, Mary was particularly close with her eldest brother Henry and her father, Thomas, behind closed doors.

Mary sat happily at the table in the Howard's home in Norfolk. She loved to be the center of attention, and at last, it was her day to shine. Though her father paid most of his attention to the boys when they were all together the rare time, when he had a moment any time during the day when he was home, he would take Mary for a walk or just sit with her, reading to hear or telling her stories of the palace he spent most of his time at. She did not see her father often, but she loved him more than anyone else in the world, Henry, her brother, coming to a close second behind him.

"Would you like to open your gifts?" Thomas asked his daughter.

"Yes, father, please." She replied sweetly to him.

Thomas motioned to one of the boys in the room and he quickly picked up the first box and handed it to him. Thomas sat beside Mary, along with her two brothers, Henry and Thomas, who went by Tom for simplicity. Elizabeth, her mother, was sitting on the other side of the table, avoiding eye contact with her husband at all costs.

Thomas handed the gift to Mary, smiling, which was rare for him. "Here Mary, open it. This one is from your mother." Thomas had secretly purchased all of Mary's gifts, but had named them all off as if they were from her three other families members, and then himself. He always gave her his gift last, and it was always the best of the bunch.

Mary grinned and opened the box that her mother's gift was in. It was only fabric, the dullest of gifts for a child, but Mary appeared excited nonetheless. She was happy with anything she received, if all truths were told, as long as it was pretty to the eye. "Oh, mama!" She shouted excitedly, pulling the fabric from the box and holding it up for all to see. Tom and Henry paid no attention to this gift; it was of no interest to them. "Thank you so much mama, I love it very much! Will I make a pretty dress from this?"

Elizabeth examined the dazzling emerald green fabric her daughter held up in front of her. It was beautiful, she couldn't deny that; Thomas had always had the eye for these things, just never when it came to her, only her laundress. She forced herself not to think such thoughts and smiled happily at her daughter. "Yes, we will have a beautiful dress made for you from that lavish fabric and you can wear it as soon as it is made!"

Mary smiled some more, placing the fabric back into the box. She hopped up from the chair she was sitting on and ran over to her mother, wrapping her tiny arms as far around her as she could manage. "Oh thank you so much mama! I love you!" She said, kissing her on the cheek. Elizabeth kissed her daughter back, on the side of the head.

"Now go open the rest of your gifts." She instructed with a wink, using all her efforts to appear as happy as can be, to fool her daughter and her sons into thinking they had a perfect family, with parents in a happy marriage.

Following her mothers' orders, Mary ran back to her seat and sat smiling at her father. "May I open my next gift, papa?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

"Of course, darling." He replied, looking to the boy once more. He brought over two gifts this time, placing them on the table in front of Mary.

Thomas pointed to the smaller of the two boxes. "This one is from Tom," he said, moving his hand to point to the other. "And this one is from Henry."

Mary looked to her brothers and gave them a smile and then began to open Tom's box. Inside of it she found a beautiful, silk coat, just her size. She pulled it out and was just as ecstatic to thank Tom, as she had been her mother. She kissed her little brother on the nose and he giggled in return.

Next came Henry's gift, which was her second most anticipated gift of the night. She opened it quickly and was more than happy to pull out a small diamond encrusted tiara. "Oh my Henry!" She exclaimed in her squeaky six-year old voice. "I never knew you thought I was a princess!"

Henry laughed and stood up from his seat, opening his arms for his sister. "Of course I do Mary! You are the princess of our family. Come here and give me a hug."

Mary placed the tiara carefully and slowly back into the box and then jumped from her seat to embrace her brother as tightly as she possibly could. "I love you so, brother of mine!"

"As I love you." He replied, hugging her back.

When they released from their embrace, Mary walked back over to her seat and sat down, looking to her father again, this time a grin on her face. "You have a lot to beat, papa. All of my gifts have been wonderful."

Thomas smiled softly at his daughter's words. The soft spot he had for her in his heart was obvious, even to his wife, who could barely look at him without feeling ht sudden urge to vomit. "I know, I only hope that you will like my gift as much as the others…" He said, faking worry in his voice. "Do you think I have a chance? Should I even bother giving you a gift at all?"

Mary nodded her head quickly. "Oh yes, papa. I think you still have a shot."

He laughed. "Very well. Boy!" The boy who had been fetching the gifts quickly ran from the room. Thomas stood up from his seat and took Mary's hand, leading her to the window. He looked down at her. "Cover your eyes and I'll lift you up so you can see out."

Mary covered her eyes, as she was told and Thomas hoisted her up into his arms, holding her so that she was facing the window. He waited a few seconds, watching out the window, his whole family sitting at the table, wondering what could be happening. After a few moments Thomas instructed his daughter, "Open your eyes, Mary."

Mary uncovered her eyes slowly and peered out the window. Thomas pointed a finger out the window, pointing at the boy who was now standing outside a rope in his hand that led to a horse!  
"That is Arion, Mary. Your birthday present from me."

Mary screamed with excitement as she looked out at the beautiful horse that stood beside the boy. He was a dark bay colour with a long, dark brown mane that hung over his neck. He was tall and very fit, the perfect horse for any rider, and the perfect horse for the Duke of Norfolk's only daughter and favourite child. "Papa! You are not lying?" She asked, turning her head to look back at him.

"Would I lie to you, my beautiful girl?" He retorted.

Mary shook her head, grinning. "Henry, Thomas, mama! Come look at the beautiful horse father has bought me."

Henry stood up quickly and rushed to the window to see the horse that Mary had got. He had, of course, already received a horse on his sixth birthday, and it too had been a beautiful and well-made stead, but Mary's was just a slight bit fancier. Henry did not care for such things though. He looked up at his sister and smiled. "Aren't you the luckiest girl in the world?"

She grinned at her brother and looked back out the window. "Papa, I have never been so happy in my whole, entire life!"

He smiled down at her. "I am happy to hear that my gift made the cut, Mary."

"Of course it did papa! It is my favourite gift." She said, looking back at him again. "I could not ask for more."

The rest of the night went on, with Mary trying her horse, Thomas leading her around on it in circles as she sat in the brand new leather saddle that Thomas included as part of her gift. Henry got on his own horse and had one of the stable boys lead him around and Tom sat on his mothers lap and watched, full of jealousy.

Thomas put the children to bed that night, instead of their nurse, since he was home for once and in such a jovial mood due to it being Mary's birthday. He put the boys to bed first, Tom and then Henry, and then finally Mary.

He placed her into her bed and put the blankets over her, wrapping them comfortably around her body.

"Did you have a good birthday, Mary?" He asked, sitting on the side of her bed.

"Yes, papa, I did. It was the best birthday yet." She said, smiling sleepily at him. Her eyes were struggling to stay open.

"I am glad to hear it." He replied, stroking her cheek.

She looked at him with puppy eyes. "Will you go back to the palace of the King of England tomorrow and leave me?"

He sighed and little and nodded his head. "Yes, I have duties there that I must attend to. In life, we adults have and even you children, eventually, have duties and we must always fulfill our duties. You will understand better when you are older."

"Will you bring me to the palace when I am older, papa?"

He chuckled. "If you are a good girl and listen to your nurse and tutor, then yes, I will bring you to the court of the King of England when you are older. Do you promise to behave while I am away?"

She nodded, smiling over the idea of going to court. "Yes, papa."

"Good girl." He said, patting her cheek before he removed her hand. He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "Good night my sweet daughter. Sleep well, sweet dreams."

He got up from the bed and walked towards the door.

"Good night papa." She replied. Thomas smiled to himself as he blew out the last lit candle in her room and left. He felt bad, leaving her there in the dark, but he knew she was not afraid to be alone, or in the dark, unlike most girls her age. She knew she had to be strong.

Thomas went downstairs and called for a boy to ready his horse so he could return that night to Whitehall. He stood in the front foyer of his home, idly; waiting for the boy to return and tell him the horse was ready. Elizabeth came downstairs and saw him.

"You are leaving so soon, my lord?" She asked, startling him a bit. He did not see her behind him. He did not bother to turn around and look at her.

"Yes. I cannot leave the king for too long or he may follow the advice of a Seymour or a Percy." He replied blandly.

"Of course, your duties at the palace always come before your duties at home." She replied shortly. She took a few steps closer to him, her eyes drilling what felt like a hole in his back.

He rolled his eyes, though she could not see him. "Yes, Elizabeth. I am the Lord High Admiral, the Lord High Treasurer and the Earl Marshal of England! I have many duties that cannot and will not be ignored. Is it that difficult for you to understand? I work hard so that my children can have an easy life, so that my family name can go down in history and so that we will always be remembered." He explained, coldly.

"Right." She replied, resisting her urge to argue with him. She did not wish to wake the children. "I understand, my lord. Your loyalty lies with the king, your children and good old Bess."

Thomas turned quickly on his heel to face her, his brow furrowed to the full extent. He came very closer to her face, pointing a finger at her. "Do not speak of that while the children are here. That is a problem that is between you and I and no one else. If you do so much as mutter a word of this to Henry, Tom or Mary, especially Mary, I will have your head woman, do you understand?" His arm shook violently in front of her. He hated the woman, more than anyone else in the world. The only reason he tolerated her was because she was the mother of his children, the mother who Mary loved so dearly. If he could have, he would have divorced her the day Tom was born, but he couldn't. He growled under his breath, still holding his hand in front of her shakily, until the stable boy opened the door, and the creaking alerted him. He turned around, leaving the scared and shaken Elizabeth standing behind him.

"Your horse is ready, my lord." The boy said, pretending not to notice the situation that had presumably been taking place before his eyes only moments ago.

"Thank you." Thomas replied. He did not bother to look back at Elizabeth as he followed the stable boy from their home, out to where his horse stood idly, waiting for him.

He mounted without a second thought, taking only a moment to look up at Mary's window, before he kicked his horse into full gear and galloped off into the night fall.


	3. On the Rise

Later on in 1525, the Duke of Norfolk lost his place as Lord High Admiral to the young, six-year old bastard of King Henry VIII of England, Henry Fitzroy, Duke of Richmond and Somerset and Earl of Nottingham. The boy was the bastard offspring of the king and a previous lady-in-waiting to Queen Catherine, Elizabeth Blount.

Thomas Howard was not down and out. By 1526, he had pushed another one of his nieces into the king's eyes to try and win some favour, the previous having been Mary Boleyn. Anne Boleyn, Mary's sister, was now in the king's utmost favour. It took several years for Anne's influence over the king to amount to anything. By 1529, the couple was still unmarried, though Henry was working hard on the idea of an annulment with Catherine.

With Thomas Wolsey's, the king's previous Lord Chancellor, fall from grace as he failed to secure an annulment for Henry and Catherine, he lost not only his positions as Lord Chancellor and Archbishop of York but also his position as the main caretaker of the Fitzroy child. Thomas Howard jumped quickly at the chance to take over this position, and this began to sprout up some ideas in the minds of both Thomas and Anne.

"Father is coming home tomorrow." Mary told Henry and Tom as they rode around in the fields at their home in Norfolk. She was much taller and much thinner than before, as she was now a ten-year-old girl, only a few years away from flourishing into a woman. Henry was now thirteen and Thomas was nine.

"Why?" Henry asked, curiously. "It's the middle of the week and he usually only comes home for a day or two at the end of the month."

"I don't know why he's coming home." Mary replied, plainly, though she knew it was partially so he could see her. He always told her in his letters that he missed her so much. "He just is. I believe he received a new appointment."

Henry nodded. "What for?"

"That man, Thomas Wolsey, who father always said was close to the king, he fell out of favour and father took his position." She explained.

"What's the position though?" Tom asked.

"He's now the main caretaker for the king's illegitimate son, Henry Fitzroy."

Henry let out a barking laugh, which sounded much like his fathers own. "The bastard child?"

Mary looked at him, her mouth open, shocked by his words. "Henry!" She exclaimed. "Don't use those words! Say illegitimate. Mama would yell at you for that."

Henry chuckled. "Easy for you to say Mary, mama is almost scared of you, you know. She would never yell at you, even if you said one million swear words to her!"

Mary furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? Mama isn't scared of me! Why would she be?"

Tom chuckled with his brother. "She is scared of you Mary. She's scared to scold you and have you tell father, because then father would yell at her."

"Or worse." Henry added, raising his eyebrows.

Mary furrowed her brow some more; she hated when her brothers teamed up on her like this, telling her she was the favorite. Henry only acted thus around Tom, when they were alone he was as sweet as honey; it was like he had to impress his younger brother by acting tough. "Oh, whatever."

Thomas arrived home sometime after dinner that evening. Mary was sitting on a chair in the drawing room of their home, slowly reading a book. It was still a very difficult task for her, reading, as she was still learning, but she knew that her father wanted her to be literate and well written, so she worked her hardest at all that she did.

Thomas entered the drawing room knowing he'd find Mary there, curled up on the chair comfortably. He smiled at her. "Mary!" He called, grinning. She must have been the only person he showed his soft side too. He was not even as soft around his two other children, only Mary was so lucky.

Recognizing her father's voice immediately, Mary shot out of her seat, letting her book fall unmarked, to the floor. She jumped into her fathers' arms, embracing him. "Papa!" She exclaimed, pushing her face into his chest.

He laughed. "I am not home for long, Mary." He warned her, not wanting to take her by surprise when he was to leave.

"I know." She replied. She broke their hug and took a few steps back, looking up at him. "Why are you home in the middle of the week, anyway? It is not even the end of the month."

He smiled. "I have brought some great news from the palace and I wanted nothing more than to share it with you, my Mary."

Mary looked up at him with her mouth open. She loved his stories from the palace and she especially loved when he brought home news, as it was usually to their family's benefit. "What is it papa? You have already told me in your letter that you have obtained a new position. Is there other news?"

He nodded. "Yes, there is others news."

"Will you tell the whole family, or just me?" She asked.

"Just you, Mary. It is news that benefits you and I most." He told her. "You may, of course, tell your brothers later if you wish, but they need not be here to hear the news from my lips."

More than anything else in the world, Mary loved her time alone with her beloved papa. He was very much the light in her life, the center of her world and she adored him. Most of all, she loved when they had secrets between each other that no one else knew. "Okay, papa. Should I sit down?"

"If you wish." He replied. "I think that I will sit, my legs are tired and sore from riding." He took her hand and walked back over to where she was sitting. He sat down across from her in the other seat as Mary hopped back into her seat from before. She looked over at him with wide eyes that reminded him of when she was a smaller child; she always had a look of pure curiosity on her face.

"Do tell, papa." Mary instructed, crossing her little legs in front of her as she sat.

He chuckled, looking at her with admiration. "Well, Mary, with my recently obtained position, I have of course met the illegitimate child of the king, the little Henry FitzRoy. He is a sweet boy, who in looks, appears very much like his father, but has a nature much more like his mothers, the Lady Elizabeth Tailboys. He learns fast and will, sooner than we all know it, become a quick-witted teenage boy and maybe, eventually, the heir to the English throne. Now, as you also know, your cousin, the Lady Anne Boleyn, is on her way to the crown as well. Henry is working towards an annulment to his current wife, Catherine of Aragon, so that he can be free to marry Anne. With Anne on the throne, as Henry's wife, it is likely that she will produce male heirs, who in precedence, will come before FitzRoy, however, it is likely that Henry will still manage to place him in the line of succession as a back up, in the case that Anne fails miserably at her post, which with God's will, she won't." Thomas paused for a moment, taking a breath. Mary looked at him slightly confused; where was the news? What was to her benefit? She couldn't foresee where this story was going at all.

"Papa?" She said, interrupting. "I do not understand…"

"I am not quite done yet, Mary." He replied calmly. "FitzRoy is the same age as you, Mary, maybe a few months younger if anything. His father, the king, would like very much if he found a reputable marriage to a young wife. Many suggestions had been made during Wolsey's time as his caretaker, but now that I have obtained this position, new suggestions have been made. Anne herself has suggested that a Howard girl should marry the FitzRoy boy, since she herself is part Howard. One of the main suggestions was… you!" He looked at her with a smile on his face, hoping she would understand the importance of this suggestion, even though that's all it was. With his power though, Thomas could easily make a suggestion he favoured into a full-fledged commitment.

Mary blinked back at him, understanding his words, but not to the full extent he had intended her to. "I am only ten years old father, you don't wish to send me away from home already, do you?" she asked, worried.

He shook his head. "No, no, Mary. I will not send you to be married yet, nor will I send you from home, but what do you think of the possibility of the betrothal? Would you like to be married to a possible heir to the throne?"

She looked at him with the same wide-eyed, confused expression she had only moments ago. She knew what her answer had to be, and what would please her father, and when it came down to it, pleasing her father made her happy. "I would jump at the opportunity, of course, papa. It is only a suggestion though, is it not?"

He nodded, happy with her response. "For now, yes. Now, there is another matter we must discuss. In two years, when you are twelve, I would like very much to send you to court as a lady-in-waiting to your cousin. She may not be queen by then, but she will still need family around her, as support. I will be there, so we will get to see each other more often."

A smile appeared on Mary's face. Any plan that involved her getting to see her father more was a good one in her mind, despite the other underlying plans her father probably had for her. He knew he could tempt her to go with that idea. "I would never, ever say no to an offer like that. I will go, certainly! In two years you say?"

"More or less, yes." Thomas replied happily. "You will like court life very much, Mary."


	4. The Darkness Behind Loneliness

Just as her father had promised, Mary found herself at court sometime soon after her twelfth birthday. Without her brothers, she felt somewhat alone, as she was used to having them constantly at her side. Her eldest brother, Henry, now fourteen years old, found himself at Windsor being reared with the king's illegitimate child, Henry FitzRoy, who was two years, his junior at the age of twelve. Despite their two-year age different, the boys began to develop a very strong bond of friendship. Mary was in constant and consistent correspondence with both of her brothers while she was away, as well as her mother, to her father's dismay.

_Dearest Henry, _

_ I cannot count the amount of times I think of you in one day and miss you with all my heart. Although I have tried to be a social butterfly, as father wishes me to be, I can't help but feel like the black sheep in the herd at times. These ladies who surround Anne, they like to gossip and talk amongst themselves of other people. I fear that when I turn my back for a moment, they will talk about me, and at these times, I wish you were here by my side more than ever._

_ Despite feeling like the odd one out at times, I do enjoy the life at Whitehall very much. It is very entertaining, and our dear cousin Anne is a very sweet lady who has been very kind and caring towards me, especially in my time of worry. I have yet to meet the king personally, but he seems jolly when he is not arguing with one of his council members about securing his annulment to Queen Catherine. I hope that all of these arrangements will be done with soon so that Anne may be queen at last and free to give the king the son he has always wanted. _

_ I hope things are more than well with you at Windsor, and with dear Harry too. Say hello to him for me and give him my best wishes, and take yours too. Sweet brother, I hope to speak to you again soon, please write me back of your doings and the happenings at Windsor, as I am sure it must be an exciting place to be as well. _

_Yours truly,_

_Mary Howard_

Mary spent most of her days attending dutifully on her lady, Mistress Anne. She loved her very much, and Anne loved her back with all the love she had left to bear, for she told Mary that most of her love belonged to the king.

"Except for the part that belongs to you, my sweet cousin!" Anne would say, kissing Mary on the cheek before she dismissed her each day.

After she was dismissed from her duties to her lady, Mary would usually return to her room and write in her journal, and then write a letter to one of her brothers, or her mother. She would alternate the recipient of her letter every few days. Once a week, with only some exceptions, she would spend the evening with her father, usually reading her book in silence as he went through papers. Sometimes he would take a break and let her read to him, or let her sing to him; whatever his preference was that day. Those were the moments Mary cherished most at court, the ones spent at her father's side.

When Anne would insist that Mary came dancing in the evening, and did not retire early, Mary often felt uncomfortable. She was the youngest lady-in-waiting to Anne, and one of the youngest girls at court. Of course, she was well respected and treated due to her relationship to Anne and of course, her father, the Duke of Norfolk, who was very much feared at court, though Mary could not see why.

Some of the younger men at court, and some of the older men, would come sit with Mary and chat with her. When they asked her last name, however, and found out who her father was, they often ran the other way.

"Don't worry Mary, we have bigger plans for you." Anne would tell her after such an incident occurred. "They will regret their decisions when they look back on these moments in a couple of years."

Mary believed Anne's words with all her heart, but found her time at court to be very lonely and depressing nonetheless. Her only comforts were her letters from her family she received and her father himself, but as time went by, and Anne got closer and closer to the throne at last, even her father started to drift from her.

When Mary's thirteenth birthday came around, she was reluctant to spend it at court.

"Papa, why could I not have gone home for my birthday? I have had my birthday at home every year of my life! Why could I not have gone home?" Mary questioned her father as they sat down for a dinner for two in his privy chambers at Whitehall.

Thomas sighed and looked at his daughter seriously for a moment. "Don't you want to spend your birthday with me?" he asked. He then looked to one of his servants and motioned for him to bring out the food; the servant obeyed and ran from the room to fetch their dinners.

"Yes, of course I do papa… but you used to come home for my birthday celebrations. Why couldn't we have both gone home?"

Thomas folded his hands together in front of him, twiddling his thumbs slightly. "You are old enough now Mary that you do not need to spend you birthday at home."

She looked down at the table, ashamed, suddenly, that she had asked any questions at all. "I am sorry for pestering you, papa."

Thomas sighed and looked at his daughter, taking his hand to tilt her chin up so she would stop looking at the table. "Now, Mary, don't be silly. I am not angry with you, but don't you agree with what I have said? You are thirteen now! A teenager! You're no longer a little girl."

Mary nodded her head glumly. "I know papa, it's just that I miss Henry and Tom and mama a lot when I am here. I barely get to see you lately, and I have only Anne to keep me company, and she is a busy woman, of course. I admit that I am very lonely."

He could not help but sympathize with her. If any other of his more distant relatives had said this to him, he would have told them to grow up and start acting like the adult they are supposed to be, but he could not bring himself to yell at his own daughter. She was such a strong girl; she was just alone; Thomas knew very much what that was like. He reached over and put a hand on Mary's back, rubbing it comfortingly. "My Mary…" he began. "You know I love you very much and I try to be with you as much as I can while you are here. I wish you had told me earlier that you were lonely. Have you been like this all year?"

She looked up at him blankly for a moment, with her saucer eyes, and then she nodded. "Yes, papa. I have been like this all year."

He sighed again and shook his head, still rubbing her back. "Well, as your mothers present to you this year then, you can go home for a few days next week and I will make sure your brother is home then too. How does that sound?"

She opened her mouth, speechless for a moment, and then grinned. "Oh papa! Really? That sounds perfect! I have missed Henry so much!" She jolted out of her seat and wrapped her arms around her father, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me."

He chuckled. "I have a slight idea, I think, but please, let's enjoy our time together while we have it then, okay?"

She nodded and kissed him once more on the cheek and then skipped happily back to her seat, ready to enjoy a dinner alone with her dearest papa.

She did not receive anywhere near as many presents as usual; only from mother and father this year, and mothers gift was for her to come home and fathers; a new necklace, a new pair of shoes and a new gown. Her father's presents were always her favourite, but this year, she had to admit, it was close game. After she received her gifts and their dinner was through, desserts and all, Mary told her father she was tired and that she needed to retire early before a hard day of work tomorrow, as it always was with Anne.

"Good night my Mary." Thomas whispered to her as he embraced her tightly. He could not describe how proud of her he was; so dedicated to her position. He saw a lot of him in her that day, the loneliness and the hard-working attitude combined, she was definitely his daughter.

"Sleep well, papa." She whispered back.

Thomas released her from his grasp after several seconds of holding on and waved her off to bed. He had one of his servants escort her through the dark halls, afraid that she might bump into some drunken idiot on her way back to her rooms.

He thought a lot that night about how she was now a teenager, and no longer his little Mary. She may not have realized it that night, but it would only be a matter of time before her interests turned from him to other things, and then they would slowly drift apart. His heart ached at only the idea; he could not let her drift away and leave him to return to the loneliness he had felt for so many years before her, since the death of his first wife, Anne. He could not go back to feeling that way, not ever again. He would have to find a way to hold onto her and keep her from drifting.


	5. The Unexpected Guest

Upon returning home, Mary was most excited to see Henry. She could barely contain herself as she sat outside their home waiting for him to arrive. She had missed him more than she could bear, and at last they would be reunited.

"Henry!" She basically screamed as her brother rode up on his horse, accompanied by several men who were in her father's service. They were the Howard crests and arms on their robes.

Henry was taken aback, but grinned as his sister wrapped her arms around him. He had grown much since the last time they had seen each other and was on his way to maturing into an adolescent. His voice was much deeper than Mary was accustomed to when they spoke. "Mary! Calm down! We'll have four days together. If you hug me too tightly I may not last all four!"

Mary looked up at him in surprise, but grinned. "You have grown so much Henry! Your voice, it sounds much older than I am used to."

He chuckled. "I suppose it does, I haven't noticed myself. I'm used to it, I suppose." Henry looked behind him and waved over with his arm to someone.

Mary looked, but she did not recognize the boy. "Who is that, Henry?" she asked, curious.

"Father got permission from His Majesty, the king, for FitzRoy to come a long too. You don't mind, do you? Just, didn't want to leave him on his lonesome at Windsor." Henry said, looking over to his friend who approached. Mary knew Henry FitzRoy only through the letters her brother wrote to her. She knew of the possibility of a marriage to him, but it had long since been discussed, she knew not if it was a reality anymore. Either way, she wasn't very fond of this FitzRoy boy coming to her home and stealing her time away with her favourite brother. She bit the inside of her lip, trying to contain her anger.

"I don't mind, no, of course not." She said, forcing a smile at Henry.

Finally FitzRoy approached and he smacked Henry on the back. "This is Mary, then?" he asked.

Henry turned to Fitz and nodded his head. "Yeah Fitz, this is my sister. Mary, this is Henry Fitzroy, or _His Grace_." Henry added, chuckling. Since Henry was such good friends with FitzRoy he never called him duke, or anything special; he was just Fitz to him.

FitzRoy inclined his head to Mary in a gentlemanly matter, but Mary did not care. She looked at him as the person who was ruining her four-day vacation away from the palace and she did not appreciate his kindness at all. "A pleasure to meet you, Lady Howard."

Mary looked back at him, her eyebrows raised. She did not even bother to force a smile to him; she merely looked at him with a plain face. "A pleasure to meet you too, _your grace._" She said this in a particularly stingy tone. Since FitzRoy did not know Mary, he didn't really catch on, he smiled at her and then turned his attention back to Henry.

"Introduce me to the little brat brother of yours. What was his name again, Thomas?" Fitz asked.

Henry laughed. "He's not that much of a brat, but alright. Is Thomas inside Mary?"

She rolled her eyes and nodded, without a word. She was already severely annoyed that her brother had brought his friend along and now the two of them were going to go off and treat Thomas like a punching bag of sorts.

Henry noticed Mary's eye roll and cool look and leaned in towards her, whispering in her ear. "Is something the matter?" he asked, concerned.

"No." She replied shortly, though it was more than obvious to Henry that something was bothering her and she just wasn't ready to talk about it.

"We'll talk later then." He said, smiling at her. He turned back to FitzRoy and grinned. "Now lets go get some target practice done on my brother, shall we?"

FitzRoy laughed and agreed, and the two boys headed into the house, leaving Mary standing all alone outside. Part of her felt like crying, but the other part was purely enraged. She wished so dearly that her father was there, to hug her and tell her everything would be alright, that she was a princess and that her brother loved her, but he was not, and so she was, what felt like, completely alone in the world.


	6. Growing Ups and Downs

The four days Mary had expected to be like a vacation from court went not at all the way she had planned. With Henry FitzRoy around, Henry, her brother, was very distracted and though he promised her continuously, over and over that they would spend some moments alone, they never did. Mary spent most of her time with her mother or her younger brother, who was also not content about the FitzRoy coming along.

"They're picking on me!" Tom told her one day when he came running into her room. "What have I done to deserve to be picked on? Have I been a bad brother?"

Mary shook her head. "No you haven't Tom. It's just that boy, the duke, as I suppose we should call him, he seems to be a bit of a bully."

"I didn't think it was much like Henry to treat me thus."

"No, it's not Tom, it's that idiotic and evil boy."

Though the four days were no vacation for Mary, she was still upset to be leaving her home to return to the confinement of the palace. She missed Anne a bit, and her father a lot, but nothing more. She did not show how upset she was to anyone however, not even her mother, whom she hugged tightly and kissed goodbye as if she were excited to be returning to the court.

When Mary returned, she had only bee back at the palace for a few hours when her father called on her to come see him. As per usual she was escorted through the halls by one his men to his chambers.

"Father." She said, curtseying to him.

Thomas sat at his desk, looking down at his daughter over a piece of parchment he held up in front of his eyes. He looked at her like he looked at any of his nieces or nephews, which was unusual behavior for him. "Mary." He replied shortly, looking back down at his paper.

Mary felt very confused. Her father never treats her in such a manner. She felt as if he was mad at her and she became very worried. "Papa?" she asked, hoping her change of address would weaken him slightly.

He looked up and put his paper down, leaning back in his chair. Her words, her _papa_ had made him feel guilty for a moment, for giving her such a cold welcome back, but he had important matters to discuss, and Mary would have to learn, if she did not know already, that family matters came above family members themselves while at court. "Sit down please, Mary." He said, motioning with his arm to one of the seats in front of his desk.

She was quick to obey, not wanting him to anger him anymore, because he was already acting as if he were infuriated. She could not imagine what she had done wrong, there was nothing! If anything it should be Henry in her place, or the FitzRoy boy, being scolded for treating Tom with such disrespect. "What have I done papa? I am so sorry, I cannot think of anything that I have done wrong recently or ever!"

For a moment, Thomas almost got up from his seat to go to her, but he held himself back. _Family matters first, _he repeated constantly in his head. "You have not done anything wrong, Mary, well nothing major at least and I am not mad at you." He said calmly, taking some of her worries away. She was still confused as to why she was receiving such treatment however.

"Then why do you seem so unlike yourself, papa?" She asked with wide eyes.

Thomas sighed and sat forward in his seat, clasping his hands together on his desk. "We have business to discuss Mary, that is why. I was going to ask you how your few days with the Duke were?"

Mary frowned but refrained from doing anything more. She knew it was no longer acceptable for her to cross her arms to her father, he would tell her she seemed like a child, and she was no longer a child. "Awful." She said, truthfully. "I thought I was getting my time away to celebrate my birthday with my brother, and I was very upset to see he had brought the Duke with him as a companion. He made my stay in my own home very uncomfortable."

Thomas was not sure whether to be surprised, angry or upset by her words. He was surprised that she had not enjoyed her time at home, as she loved her home and her family very much, and he knew very well that she had needed some time since she had been so upset at court. He felt a little surge of anger by her discontent in the Duke, though truly, she would have to act respectfully to him no matter what she really thought and finally he felt upset because even though she could mask her like for the Duke, he had hoped that they would have had an opportunity to clique during their time together. He furrowed his brow slightly for a moment and then spoke. "Awful?" he asked in a neutral tone. "What made it so awful, Mary?"

"Everything." She replied shortly as she stared up at her father. "I wished to spend some time alone with my Henry but _he _was attached to his hip, day and night and Henry would not dare leave his dearest Fitz all alone! Oh no! I had to spend my time with mother or Tom, who also had a terrible four days, might I add."

The way she spoke reminded Thomas that she was growing up; she sounded so angsty and annoyed, but he could still see his little girl in there and it hurt him to see her so upset. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head. "Mary, my Mary, don't be so upset. Your brother is fourteen now! He is, perhaps, no longer as interested in developing the relationship you to have. He is now more interested in spending time with other boys, and going hunting and riding and so on and so forth. Do you understand? He is growing up, just as you are." He hated himself for breaking away from his serious tone, but he couldn't have her in tears before they had even begun to speak! After all, she was his daughter, his own flesh and blood; it was natural for him to want to comfort her.

Mary felt relief hearing her father's soft tone. She was worried that she would be scolded for her words, but she had received no scoldings as of yet. "But, Henry told me himself he wished to spend time alone with me! It was that stupid boy that was stopping him from doing so, not his own mind! That boy made Henry treat Tom like a punching bag too, you know!"

"Thomas is ten years old now Mary, he does not need you to worry about him, he should be worrying about himself!" Thomas said, in a little bit of a rougher tone. It was not directed at Mary, he wished more than he was saying those words to Thomas himself. He could not have his son acting weak and crying to his sister about such stupid matters, he should have defended himself! He calmed his tone back down for his next words: "You can't blame this all on the Duke, Mary. He is a very respectable boy, I know him well. Give him another chance."

She felt enraged by her fathers' words. She stood from her chair and looked at him with her mouth wide open. "Papa! You must be joking me!"

"I am not joking you, Mary. You will give the Duke another chance. You are being too harsh in your judgment. He is your brothers' friend, you cannot be so jealous of their relationship! Recently the two boys have spent much more time together than you and your brother, so you cannot be surprised by their behaviors." Thomas explained in a calm tone.

She couldn't resist any longer, she threw her arms in front of her chest and crossed them. "He will get no second chance from me, papa and if you think otherwise, you must be dreaming."

Now her temper was starting to fry his nerves a bit. "Mary!" He said, a little louder than before. "I will not tolerate such behavior from you. If I tell you to give the Duke a second chance, then you will do it and you will do it with a smile on your face. Do you understand me?"

Mary heard her fathers voice rise, but she did not think much of it. Suddenly, she had become fearless of his anger. "I understand you but I will not comply father. The Duke will have no second chance from me and that is that. You cannot make me! I do not like him, in any way; not as a boy, or as a human being!"

"Mary for God's sake!" He shouted at her as he rose from his desk. "Sit down in your seat or I will force you to do so with my own two hands! I will make you listen and I will make you agree, whether you like it or not! You have no choice! The Duke is the son of the King, even if he is a fucking bastard, and you _**must**_ like him! You will marry him, you know!"

Mary's momentary courage faded and she sank into her seat, her arms still crossed in front of her. Her eyes watered and tears began to drip down her face. "I thought that the marriage was not for sure? That is what you told me."

Mary's tears and sobbing voice made Thomas's heart ache, but he would have to finish this conversation with seriousness before he could comfort her. If she were going to act so stubborn, then she would have to learn things the hard way. It was her fault that he had to yell, not his. "Mistress Anne and His Majesty have discussed the matter further. They believe, still, that it is a good idea and with Anne to convince the King, there is no doubt that the two of you will be married."

Her father's words only made Mary cry more. She placed her face into her hands and sobbed, her words were muffled when she spoke. "I cannot imagine being married to such a horrible boy!" she cried. "He is horrible papa, how can you make me do such a thing! He treats me with no respect, he wants only Henry's attention and he hurts my dear brother Tom! How can I give him a second chance?"

"Mary, you will marry him whether you give him a second chance or not!" He reminded her, realizing he hadn't made this clear before. He _did_ want his daughter to be happy, but no, she could not. Family matters such as this mattered more than her happiness, though it was seemingly hard for him to convince himself of this fact. "By marrying the duke you are giving our family more power! Anne will be Queen of England and you will be a duchess, over two duchies! Anne will give the King the son's he has always wanted and if not, Henry and you will be the next best bet in line."

She heard his words, but she continued to sob. It would be too much work for her to compose herself right now. Not only had her father yelled at her, but she had also found out that she had to marry the boy she hated.

When she did not look up or respond for a few minutes, Thomas could no longer keep up his harsh tone and blank stare, he had to go to her. He came to her side and lifted her up so that she stood. She hid her face from him, looking to the ground, and one hand over her teary eyes. "Please my Mary, I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Again, she remained silent.

He sighed, trying to think of what to say, or do. He had never had to deal with her in such a state. Even when she was a young girl it was not often that she cried and now here she was, thirteen years old, sobbing away. Thomas knew not what to do, so he took her into his arms and hugged her, even if she was not willing. "I am sorry, Mary, I just… this is important! For you, for me and for our whole family! I see clearly that you are not fond of the boy but remember he is just a boy. He will be your husband though, and then he will be more grown up, and perhaps you will like him better, but either way, I'm sorry to say you cannot pick and choose in this scenario. Don't you want to be a duchess?"

Mary stood in her fathers grasp for a few moments without reacting. She continued to sniffle and weep, but after she heard him speak; she looked up at him, her eyes puffy and red from crying. "I would not mind being a duchess…" she said quietly.

An iota of a smile appeared on his face. "It won't be as bad as you are imagining it, I am positive." He assured her, looking into her eyes. For a moment he wished he could let her marry whomever she liked, but he knew this would have no benefit to her or the family. FitzRoy was the best they could get and he wasn't about to let such a great opportunity escape him. Mary would marry him, and if she were unhappy, well, it would just be another thing to add to Thomas's conscience.


End file.
